Remembering the Good Ones

April 13, 2025

How often do you reflect on those important people in your life that have passed? On Friday evening I was eating dinner, and out of nowhere I suddenly remembered that a friend named Bill had passed away this year. It sent a rush of emotions coursing through my memory banks. I paused eating, and began to remember the different pillars in our community that have passed. Diana, Betty, Mark, now Bill, just to name a few.

As I started to list names, I realized that my list might seem offensive. Not for who is on it, but who isn’t. The truth is, not everyone in the community would think of them as pillars - but I would. I remember them as intricately woven into the social fabric of my hometown. I experienced them as important in my own life. So they get a high classification from me. And from my limited view, they treated others like they treated me, so I can only assume they mean that much to everyone. In reality, we all have our own list, and that is how it should be.

The only question is, will our kids be impacted by these same kinds of important people? The world is so much less social because of our online existence. There aren’t many opportunities for a kid to hang out at the neighbor’s house, being forced through circumstance to talk to them for an hour while your mom runs errands. In the past, when your parents ran late, there was no communication device in anyone's pockets, so you just had to wait with a teacher or relative.

You might be saying that some of these opportunities still exist for kids today, and you would be right. The difference is that in any mildly uncomfortable situation, the kid will just bury their face in their phone. And you know what’s even sadder? The adult is probably doing the same. What a way to pass the time.

So I’m not sure if kids are getting the same exposure to trustworthy adults in order to experience being lifted up by one of them. And these people do elevate you. They encourage you. Their life is an example of something real and authentic. They say what they think without embarrassment. They have strong opinions, but are quick with kindness and grace. They are special.

And then one day, they are gone. They can’t give you that encouraging word. You can’t bump into them at the grocery store. If you drove to their house, they would not be there.

That is why memory is so important. Memories aren’t just for remembering how to drive a car or do your job, they are food for your soul. Good memories are like good laughter - they feel both joyful and cathartic at the same time. They remind you of who you used to be, how you used to feel, and what you used to fear. They act as a barometer to show you how much you have grown (or, um, stayed on the late bloomer path).

This is why remembering those important people is so, well, important. Because when their memory lives on, you receive the gift of what they meant to you in the present. They are still giving something to you as long as you remember them.

I have tried to do this throughout my life, but it feels more important than ever. So talk to your friends about those amazing people who impacted your life. Remember your shared moments with your family. When a memory of a pillar in your life jumps out, tell your kids about how they lived. Don’t let all the good they did fade into the distance. Nothing is ever truly gone until it is forgotten.

Remembering the good ones.

I love, and miss you - Diana, Betty, Mark, Bill, and many more.