Coveted 5th

February 16, 2026

I’m not sure when the phrase originated in our house, I only know it’s gospel. The term carries weight. Everyone who steps inside is now subject to its reality. Luckily there is only one time the term has meaning - when playing Mario Kart.

How fun is that game? It’s been around for so long that most of us have some connection to it. You either had it in your house, or played it at a friends. We didn’t have video games growing up, so a schoolmate with a Super Nintendo was immediately pushed higher up the sleepover list. If you went to a new friend’s house, and they suggested anything that started with Super Mario, you knew there would be return visits.

Middle school sleepovers were awesome because you knew you’d be up as late as you could handle. My daughter is hitting that stage of life, and after picking her up last week from one such party, she informed me that they had been up till 3:00 AM. If you can believe it, that is actually past her normal bedtime. But kids got to kid. Being a parent requires you to thread that needle between teaching responsibility and letting them dive deep into the fun parts of childhood.

I have to give it to Nintendo, because it’s not guaranteed that each iteration of your game will always hit. And universally loved games don’t grow on trees. My first experience with Mario Kart was on the Super Nintendo, but I’ve had a connection with each new system. Mario 64 came in high school, and I have such great memories of racing my future wife and all her sisters. They were ruthless. Switch the cartridge from Mario to Tetris, and they are completely unbeatable.

There were a few lean years in the middle when adulthood transition took center stage. Like at the beginning of marriage. Back then we went for the analog version of fun, letting the ping pong table soak up most evenings. But I don’t regret the lack of console entertainment. What you do matters less than who you do it with, and back then I didn’t care what I was doing as long as it was with my wife.

Fast forward a few years, and we got a Switch. Suddenly, Mario and Luigi were back in our lives. I believe it was that season in which “coveted 5th” was born. My vague memory tells me that someone got so particularly sick of coming in fifth place every race, that they began proclaiming its superiority. It wasn’t just sexy to come in fifth, it was the top of the mountain. So amazing was fifth place that it became coveted. And so we fought for it.

The joke stuck. The seed was planted. It must be almost ten years since that phrase was first uttered, and we still hold the standard in our home today. Our daughter knows it. Our friends know it. Our friend’s kids know it. If you come in fifth in our home, you are the superior leader.

One important note: you cannot target fifth place as you drive. You can’t slow down at the end, trying to roll in after that fourth place bum. No! You have to try to win. You must give it everything you have. And after the last lap of the last race, you are awarded first place, you are the best…unless another human in the race came in fifth. In that case, they win. Fifth is the highest honor, but only if you fought for first with the tenacity of a bullet.

No words of wisdom here. No life lesson. Just a silly little thing, but it makes me smile every time.