Behind The Curtain
Have you heard of the Sphere in Las Vegas? Do a quick search if you haven’t, it’s wild. I took my wife and daughter to see The Wizard of Oz at the Sphere over spring break. We were already in Vegas to visit our grandma for a couple days, and with my daughter becoming a huge Wicked fan over the last year, it seemed fitting to see the original on the largest, most immersive screen possible.
It’s similar to the top of a mountain - pictures and even video will never do it justice. The Statue of Liberty can fit inside the Sphere, and the screen circles your entire field of view, meaning it feels like what you are watching is really happening right in front of you. It was a memorable night to go with an already great trip to see family.
Although I’ve seen the movie countless times, the scene that really caught my attention was Dorothy discovering that the wizard was a fraud. His larger-than-life head wasn’t real, his voice an amplified distortion, and his powers less than the tooth fairy. Even though he received the praise and respect of the people of Oz, he was really just an ordinary human.
This is going to seem like a leap, but follow me on this. Last week I had the worst tooth pain I have ever experienced, and I couldn’t stop thinking about the symmetry with the movie. The aching woke me up at 3:00 AM, and by my first cup of coffee I was in agony. I went to the dentist hoping for a quick solution, only to find that I needed a root canal. Worse yet, I couldn’t get in for a week.
The reason I kept thinking about the wizard was the act I tried to put on in public. I didn’t want to complain about it to everyone unfortunate enough to run into me, so I kept it as quiet as I could. After the procedure, I had someone tell me I seemed so happy the week before when they bumped into me in town.
You see, we never truly know what is going on in most people’s lives. Sure, there are the friends and family we love and let into our inner world, but we keep a lot to ourselves. Especially confusion, embarrassment, shame, pain, and stress. I’m not suggesting you should let the grocer know about the results from your latest colonoscopy, I’m just asking you to reflect on how many of your thoughts, feelings or opinions go unspoken.
I remember one of the great pieces of advice I received when starting in youth ministry was to not judge kids by their external appearances. Sometimes the ones that looked like they had it all together were struggling the hardest. The happy families weren’t always happy behind closed doors. The most vivid and shocking introduction to this reality was when a student told me he was suicidal. He was incredibly well-liked, athletic, handsome, and successful in school. Sadly, through the decades I have seen this over and over again, reinforcing the need to avoid judgement, and instead seek empathy in every relationship.
I am one of those people who wear my emotions on my sleeves. Everyone knows what I am feeling at any time, especially friends. But over the last decade, when life got more real than I cared for, and fear and pain took up various residencies in my psyche, I learned how to change my outward expressions. It happened out of necessity, a protective measure that grew over the years.
Sometimes, this is a good thing. I don’t need to be a walking talk show, and holding things close to the chest can be the most wise and mature response to some situations. But if I’m honest, I most often put walls up when I’m at my worst. When the demons take the driver’s seat, or apathy fuels my forward motion through life.
Which brings me back to the wizard. So often, when masking our emotions, I think we fall into believing that we are him. The reason for the wall is a feeling that if everyone knew what was behind the curtain, they would know we weren’t all we made ourselves out to be.
This isn’t true, and you shouldn’t believe it.
What you should really take from the story is the revelation of the central characters. All of them were stuck believing the lie that they weren’t good enough. Even worse, they wouldn’t be whole until they captured something missing in their lives. They are like us when the chips are really down, dwelling on our weakness and believing our place on the floor is warranted. Luckily, their pursuit leads them to the revelation they already are the person (or Scarecrow, Tin man, and Lion) they hoped to be.
They believed they would only be whole when an external force gave them the missing piece. And I think that is often what we search for as well. We put on our happy face for the public, all the while internally yearning for that thing that will make our mind match that smile.
You are stronger and better than you know.
It’s okay not to have it all together.
None of us do, some of us just have tighter control over our facial expressions.
