When is Enough?

You hear stories about it in every medium. A movie with a beautiful actress, a novel with a hyper-intelligent lead. It’s a character that is driven by the pursuit of something. They might be looking for fame or fortune. Perhaps it’s an incredible cause or foundational belief that motivates them. Maybe it’s just pure self-will and determination. Whatever the person, whatever the circumstance, whatever the motivation - the guiding principle is the pursuit of more. What they have is not enough, and they won't be happy or fulfilled until they get the right amount.

The problem, and usually what ends up being the moral of the story, is that somewhere along the journey their original goal becomes lost. Why stop at this place, when there’s more to be attained? If this thing I pursued was good for others, doesn’t it only make sense that I go after more? They argue with themselves. They seek confirmation of their ever-changing view that if they only had more they would finally be fulfilled.

We are always privy to these stories as outsiders. We watch their life from afar. From that perspective, we can see their folly growing each day. The flakes of character and humility fall off with each new choice, each rejection of the original goal. It’s so easy to see from the outside that they are changing. You know that each new perceived elevation only brings a deeper sense of unfulfillment. You see where the story is going, and yearn for that character to wake up before it’s too late.

Why do we seldom see ourselves in the center of this story?

The first problem is time. When we look at life expressed through art, it is condensed. It only captures the highs and lows. Whole lives are condensed into two hour movies. Which only makes sense. Why would you focus on the small, insignificant moments like doing dishes, walking to the mailbox, or sleeping? No, art is about capturing the specific moments that tell the larger narrative. You don’t see the mundane.

It’s hard to perceive those significant moments in your own life when so much time is spent walking the dog and mowing the grass.

The second problem is that everywhere we look, we see people who have more. While social media has certainly exacerbated the problem, it’s not a new thing. We are attracted to shiny objects. We scan the world around us, and see so many lives that have more. Maybe they have it all? Except they don’t. Once you get above surface level conversations, you realize that no one holds all the cards.

I’m writing this more for myself than anyone. I know I’m guilty of the pursuit of more. I know I’m influenced by the same societal pressures to derive my value from the size of my house, number of followers, or money in the bank. I’ll be honest with myself and say it, because you can’t fix a problem if you aren’t willing to admit there is a mistake.

That is why I try to see my life as a story. No good story is about a person riding up an escalator of success, each moment ascending to a higher place without any conflict. The best stories have challenges and failures. They are about overcoming.

I look at my own story, and wow is the main character flawed. He often falls into many of these traps. But he has a heart that wants to be better. I’m rooting for him. As you should be rooting for yourself too.